During the last couple weeks there seemed to be a lot of deep thoughts traveling through my mind. My birthday is coming up in a month, and so much has happened within this last year; it is crazy to think the year has already gone by. My birthday last year was not the best for sure...it was actually one of the hardest days of my life. I was having up and downs with my relationship at the time. Having the sinking feeling off and on that maybe this wedding would not happen after all. The weekend of my birthday is when the relationship finally crumpled...I think that exact moment when that decision was made is something I will remember for a while. I don't know what the memory will look like in five to twenty years; it is a memory that does not affect me emotionally anymore but with the upcoming birthday, the potential wedding date, and other reasons, it seems fresh in my mind.
After my last birthday I cried a few weeks, listened to Adele, finished off the school year, track, reevaluated my life, and took the typical steps people go through when a relationship fails. The surprising thing was that after a few weeks I decided to change and take the bulls by the horn. I am not a sad person. I have always lived by the motto "live life to your fullest", yet a couple years ago I found myself pushing that motto further and further away. I don't know exactly why this happened but I seemed to always blame it on money or time. I was getting into that boring path of life that I never wanted for myself. I even saw myself becoming up tight, freaking out when things didn't go my way and this truly scared me.
All this needed to change. These changes took place that June, and the summer Pray, Eat, Love /Friendship/ emerged...yes I admit inspired by the book which later became a film starring Julia Roberts. I took three trips that summer. The pray trip was to Bozeman, MT. It was my first time in MT, and I was clueless to the beauty I was about to partake during the six days of my trip. I went during the week of my friend Yosai's birthday through the Fourth of July. The peace and the overwhelming love I felt that Fourth of July was a moment I will cherish forever. The image of sitting on a hill overlooking the surrounding mountains, sitting with friends, listening to Bon Iver, and having fireworks overtake your 180 vision was exactly what I needed to feel happy again and realize how much the world offered. I will also be grateful for Yosai and that trip which brought Nackles back, started of a new year, and life.
My Eat trip was New Orleans. I am one of those people that loves New Orleans, and when I tell people they always say "doesn't it smell, don't people pee and puke in the streets". I think my mom says it best..."yes, but they wash it away every morning." New Orleans is one of those cities, within the U.S., that is culturally unique. The music, food, and art are amazing and I definitely indulge whenever I go. I spent this trip with another amazing friend. I joined Susan with her family and now fiancé. I have to admit this was part of the summer that I did struggle with. I loved the people I went with but the decision to go with two couples was not the best choice for someone trying to move on. I did have a break down moment, very embarrassing, but the trip in the end was fantastic. We all indulged in food, listened to Jazz, visited the famous cemeteries, walked Bourbon Street, the river walk, French Quarter, and lastly saw The Civil Wars. It was a great trip to add on to my new adventure.
My last trip was to Dallas to visit my true love Kathy. I went on this trip alone. I decided to drive this time, because I wanted to visit the infamous IKEA. An IKEA trip was much needed because I made a big decision in June to move down to the River Market, in downtown KC, into a loft. I have been a suburban girl my entire life so moving to the big city was a little nerve racking but the neighbor was welcoming and right down the street would be my bestie Susan. I think the move was part of my journey of Pray, Eat, and Love. I wanted to try something new and different, and I am so pleased I made the move. I can see myself staying in the area for a while.
Anyways moving back to my trip to Dallas. I always have a good time with Kathy, and I miss her often. I will go ahead and say she misses me often too :). It is always nice to visit Dallas because it is a perfect small girl’s weekend. We go to movies (this trip to the movies was an epic moment of embarrassment for me. Words cannot explain but it will be imbedded in our minds--Kathy and I-- for a while), get our nails done, go to the mall, visit the museum, enjoy cocktails, see my fantastic friend Toni, and much more. This vacation was the closure to the Love part of the summer. It was my last big trip of the summer and I was blessed to send time with friends.
I almost forgot another huge event of the summer-- the Kanrocksas concert. When I saw the artists coming it was a no brainer, and I jumped to buy pre-sale tickets. I bought the tickets in March and intended to my take my fiancé at the time, but as we know things change, and I ended up taking my friend Laura and my sister April. It was a fuckin hot weekend, but the music allowed this problem to subside, and I got to indulge in one of my great loves... MUSIC!
When the summer was coming to a close I decided to continue to embrace life and take more time for myself. When work comes along I put my entire self into my job. I would grade papers every weekend, coach, coach, and did I say coach. I love coaching so much, but it would/ can hinder my other passions such as travel, concerts, and free weekends. I decided to keep my passion in teaching and coaching but make sure to balance work with my time with friends, family, and other passions.
School started on the right path this year. It was my first year teaching Geography Honors and the students were fantastic---it was almost like they knew I needed this year to relax and not deal with behavior issues. I took a small lake trip to relax at the beginning of the school year and it is always a great time with April and her friends. I finished up my Masters and graduated this December from my Alma Marta, and my coaching experiences went great. Intermixed with these great events were concerts, happy hours, New Years, Westport Trips (give it to Buzzard Beach /Kari!/, sad but true), spring break trip, KU Games, spending time with family, trying to get out in the dating world, strangely catching up with past friends, and having a whole new look on life--being patient, not taking things so seriously, and becoming the person I want to be. I feel like I almost went back to my old self as well. I just mixed my joy for life with some maturity and a better outlook.
I have spent the last two hours this evening writing on my experiences over the last year. I feel I needed to get them down for a final time before the year comes to a close on May 8th. This was a learning year, an interesting year, and I finally feel like my old self again. As you can tell with this blog and my previous blogs that I like to share sentimental moments. This has been a year of growth and opening up. I am ready to continue in my path of traveling, taking care of myself, love, and achieving my goals.
The school year is coming to a close and I will dive in my journey again. I am actually feeling a little overwhelmed, but the overall excitement pushes it to the side. The first weekend of June will start the adventure...Vegas Baby! I will be going with some of my favorite people for a very special person, Susan; Vegas will be followed by Florida, Portland, Salt Lake City, and Hawaii. I am excited to share the experiences with my my close friends and family.
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